lord, lord mother we are losing love.
this time last year i was with nevin. this time last year i was an alcoholic. this time last year i smoked almost a pac
k a day. i still worked at gnc and skipped class everyday with ktd. Pretty soon marks the date of best night ever, and what'd be really nice is finding something to cover up that night because it's 20xbetter. then again, though, it's one of the only things that's lasted since chris. so fucking weird.
k a day. i still worked at gnc and skipped class everyday with ktd. Pretty soon marks the date of best night ever, and what'd be really nice is finding something to cover up that night because it's 20xbetter. then again, though, it's one of the only things that's lasted since chris. so fucking weird.<=seriously so emberassing.
There are some people in my life right now that without a doubt make me self conscious. Since Chris i've grown up a lot. I remember how free i felt when i told him i just couldn't fight for someone who didn't know i was worth anything. I fought for over 2 years, and that last year i told him he had to help me pick up the mess. I'd just moved back to Richmond, and instead of supporting me he bashed who i was becoming and constantly made comments about how my br
ain was fried. But, who's to say that's any worse or better than a liver made of alcohol? It's been 2 years since i moved back here, and it's such a fucking black hole here. It sucks the life out of you, but i can't really blame it on richmond haha. I'd probably be saying the same bullshit if i was in LA. But, back to present day self consciousness- i've gotten so shy. I'm not afraid of my body because that's just bones and skin, and if it's not right to your eyes than by all means look away, but there are some people who make me hold my tongue and make me feel like there's just something blah.
ain was fried. But, who's to say that's any worse or better than a liver made of alcohol? It's been 2 years since i moved back here, and it's such a fucking black hole here. It sucks the life out of you, but i can't really blame it on richmond haha. I'd probably be saying the same bullshit if i was in LA. But, back to present day self consciousness- i've gotten so shy. I'm not afraid of my body because that's just bones and skin, and if it's not right to your eyes than by all means look away, but there are some people who make me hold my tongue and make me feel like there's just something blah.katey thinks people can only fall in love with me when i'm around kyle and her. she said i just am more natural and crazy. last night she told me it's weird that i can admit that there's something holding me back because i have such a huge personality. such a shame that there's something forcing me to admit that.
i think it'd be really amazing if people just realized the effort put into things.
that, sometimes, through all the silence and anger there's a reason.
and that being honest isn't a ridiculous concept.
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