everybody is saying no

but i'm begging for a yes.

always a wonderful night when i get to sleep on the floor.
I'll never look at hardwood the same.

Chris is heading home today, and we are heading to the beach.
I'm ready to get out of richmond, and i'm ready for another mini vaca.

i have a new outlook- a fresh breath. I love waking up only to smile.

side squeeze

introducing

you was easy.
i thought i was going to stumble over the words, but luckily i did not.

i love when random people show up at my house. I love how really excited i get, i even love when they insult me! but, i won't lie- i really do love it because sometimes i miss random people.

talking about that infamous picture made me miss you some, but then again i wasn't looking at the picture. haha, what a fucking piece of work i can be.

I'm just remember what it was like to get out of my 3 year relationship. I'm watching a lot of friends get married right now, and knowing that if we hadn't broke it off I'd win the greatest house wife award for Tennessee. I'm glad i fell away for belief, because getting married over having the same beliefs is just silly. I especially want to knock out the friends who i know that are getting married just to have the ability to break their vow of celibacy.

whatever, i'm not getting married- that's all. thank god.

but, i remember getting back into the groove of dating, and it was killer. i remember thinking i was on top of the world really.

eh, im not writing about this.

and all of that time you thought i was sad

i was trying to remember your name.

live through this and you won't look back.

= this weekend
= saying au revior

Are my knees fucking up or is it just this weather?

here we go again

best night ever, reinvented- rewound- restarted

2 bottles of lambic, a handle of sweet tea vodka, a liter of watermelon vodka
this is going to end beautifully.

maybe i thought wrong?
possibly i saw something different

i dont feel anything unless we're living and dying for eachother

why does it seem

that i'm part of a night owl project?

drinking tonight alongside laundry and the virgin suicide
please someone spice up my night.

2shot

awesome night except for me being a jackass who runs into mailboxes.
i'm honestly taken aback by how much i've been smiling lately.
i also forgot that burnettes is not all that bad: watermelon flavored with cranberry juice as a chaser- so good.

1. my mom got super drunk last night and was hilarious
2. taking shots really late at night
3. having people visit me from out of town
4. eating out lotzzz
5. saying goodbye and being strong enough to follow through this time
6. nearly never working and still getting by
7. why the hell not smile?

nonstop smiling.

thank you corey for taking this picture.

muse

i may have finally found inspiration.
i spent all day at work writing.
i haven't written in months.
it felt so refreshing, it felt like home.

of course, i left it at work.
soooo, it's going to be exciting to see who finds it in the AM.
lolz, hopefully they have a sense of humor?

refuse to go over there, that's all there's left for me to do.
with or without good results, it's what's best.

i'm more than willing to say it's worth it.

last night

impacted me greatly.

firstly: i fucking love to party. Point blank, it's one of my favorite past times. I don't know what it does for me, but it's a break from the real world. I thuroughly enjoy it.

secondly: People with personalities rock my fucking world. I met so many people last night who were just spewing with greatness. I wouldn't take back my lifestyle for anything.

thirdly: i love dressing fucking weird. Katey and i were bummed as shit yesterday when we couldn't find anything, and when i stumbled upon the red dress i wore it was fucking spectacular. I don't know why, but i like it lots.

fourthly: i cannot believe the people who show up sometimes. People from my past, people bound to be a part of my future, and even people i used to hate manage to show up on my doorstep. I actually had a panic attack last night and cried on the way home from a trip to 711 because of who showed up, but it's lovely to get closer and closer to saying au revior.

fifthly: those who care about me and look past my many imperfections are the people who make me any bit wonderful. After my fit of crying there were 3 people who really came through. I'll never stop cherishing you.

sixthly: I may be a couch sleeper, but i am most definately not a floor sleeper. I can't say i really minded though.

seventhly: i fucking live a bloody wonderful life, and i hope to never take things for granted.

there's seems to be a need for some decision making

i've been searching for polaroid film all day. I want my gorgeous 420 to get some use out of itself.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080418073707AACsBT8

Katey and I are planning a trip for FLA with baby klye. There are a few people I'm considering asking to come along, but that's for later. We're going for a few reasons:
1. why the hell not?
2. tickets are cheap as shit.
http://www.orbitz.com/App/ViewFlightSearchResults?retrieveParams=true&z=d4ce&r=2q&z=d4d0&r=2s&lastPage=interstitial
3. my teeth problem can be helped via pain clinic
http://www.drugbuyers.com/freeboard/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/816755/fpart/2
4. BEACH! duhz

the funny thing is we've already got down the basics:
1. katey and i will get there in a fit of terror
2. we will both panic and decide we have to leave earlier than planned
3. we'll get to the pain clinic and go get my perscription filled
4. eat
5. beach
6. go back to the airport and hope we can find a way home same day.

butttt, i'm assuming this will all be different with baby klye being there. he'll just tell the both of us to shut the fuck up. :)best brudda in da worlddd.

accomplished

a lot today. fuck a beach:)
Met up with Danielle, who has decided to take the room. My feelings on the situation: a bit excited, but mostly whatev. She has a cute cat, which worries me with pabbi, but i think eventually they will both adjust. The funniest: her boyfriend walks in and says, "i think i partied here once?"
Anywho, i'm glad to have a new roommate, a new face, a fresh start, maybe?

Grabbed lunch with the current roomies, which is always a good time. Came home and layed around in the yard where cory proclaimed, "Bianca, you're nipple is out. I wasn't even tryna look. But, it was bound to happen with all of your boob slip ups." I quickly pushed my boob back in my bikini and continued to roll around in laughter. Soon after we were both dripping with sweat and decided to take pabz up to northbank. I'd never been, but loved it. Pabbi loved it even more.

As soon as we got there some silly shit ensued. There was a guy in the distance trying to figure how the hell he was going to get back onto mainland, and as he stepped on the rock in front of him a blue snake of some sort slithers up. He screams, "HOLY FUCK," and the snake gets pulled away by the current. It trys to fight, but there's just no hope. The snake continues to slither up a tree and shows all of it's 5 foot glory to us. I wasn't even the one in any danger and i was fucking scared.

Pabbi got thrown into the river, and showed us her killer swimming skills. :) i'm a proud parent, without a doubt. Came home and tried to go on a moto ride, but no luck. Someone please just teach me how to ride. Anywho,today was good and refreshing. Now, we're trying to solve my teeth problem... dum, dum, dum.

my teeth are killing me. thank youuuuu quimonda for fucking up and closing down. thankkkk youuuu america for letting me be one of the only members in my family with a job. I'M POOR BITCH, I GOT NO MONEY IN THE BANK.

where am i going to get fucking health insurance?

I guess that's why we left so we could take a step keep moving and forget the rest.
au revior, take care of yourself in this city boy.

"a life-form that loves to fantasize about its own demise."
honestly one of my fave movies.

sushi and 40s was one of the best ideas i think i've ever had. my roof is killer, and so is couch sleeping during notorious.

smiles all around, it's going to be another sticky sweet summer.

my life right now.

heard i'm going downhill, should be fun as long as i don't get grassburn.
heard i'm intelligent, so i think i'll read a book.

im not in the slightest bit ready for work today.
the raw transition is going to suck, my stomach is already pissed at me.
honestly the only thing i'm craving right now that isn't raw is oatmeal. i definately miss the red bowl days and waking up to black coffee and a hot serving of oatmeal.

Things are pretty good right now. Gotta grab some 40s tonight for tomorrow. Gotta decide on where to get sushi- decisions, decisions, decisions. Oh, i'm the worst.



"keep blowing and lighting
because we own the sky."

having stuff

to look forward to makes life grand.

i'm cooking dinner tonight- my last supper:)

going on a bananna binge tomorrow and then trying to go raw soon again.

i really fucking suck at this raw thing, but i think i should be able to stick to it for a while.

except for sushi, but i mean...

i haven't had a 40 in so long. last time jamie and i fought and i played the part of a dragon. hahaha. this should be interesting to say the least.

DC trip was so successful. Katey finally got her first tat! Paid Reid a nice little visit, and loled about QOC. We ate mountains of food, especially me. Tapas bars are honestly one of my fucking favorite things. I only really know of 2 in richmond, and have only been lucky enough to go to one.

kyle got stranded last night, so we went to pick up baby brotha. I wasn't allowed to drive, so i sat in the passenger seat. I got so anxious when they asked me to pick the music, and looked like an idiot. I panicked over music haha. we came back home and the party was over. i felt disrespected later on in the night, but oh well. I did get,
"You! You're the important one!"
yelled at me, and it definately made my night. So, thank you bobcat.



I spoke to Jake last night, and am wondering what he really feels about the whole girlfriend breakup thing. I'm hoping he's as fine as he tells me. I don't really question that, but you know it's easiest to hide. I want to visit home so badly, it's been too long.



we're venturing off to dc today in hopes of washing some richmond dirt off of our skin. I'm just trying to get the fuck away for a while. I've lost my phone momentarily i believe, which is a fucking bummer. I'm going to veg out today and probably get another tattoo. FUCK MY BANK ACCOUNT.

i'm getting so bored with my body again.

i guess i'm going to figure out something to alter, but i'm idealess on tattoos.

all i want to do is be a bum and lay in a hammock. i've got to buy one soon.

my cousins father passed away recently and all it makes me want to do is fucking visit him and never come back to rva. i freaking want to take a trip to the carribean so bad

http://www.larrycarlson.com/front2005.htm

i really enjoyed this, but why? je ne sais pas.

honestly

the greyhound brought me a nice surprise. Bowman and I talked for hours on the porch, and reminisced about last summer. That summer was a wreck, a mess. I was jobless and entangled in the sticky sweetness of such lazy days and the hazy air of summer. We all were.

More than anything i was in love. I was in love with capturing every moment, with tackling every experience, and with the ebb and flow of the days and hours and minutes. I couldn't have been more happy or more miserable all at once. It was the summer of reverie and teenage angst. I was most in love with the pain and ever more so in love with all the laughter.

This summer, a year later, I'm hoping will reach it's full potential. I don't know what I'm looking for in it, but things will just fall from the sky and we hope it all gets us high. "the things that make you high will make you die." I want a party pit and those certain songs that get so scratched into our souls. I wantwantwant, but HONESTLY I'll settle for anything that makes me smile. And HONESTLY who can call that settling?

so you started calling me again, and i fucking don't know why.
the last time i saw you all i did was get up every five minutes to pee.

i haven't tried to contact you in a while, nor was i planning to.
i genuinely miss watching funny asian movies and adult swim, but that's all over and done with.
i think about just going over there because we both need some closure, and a goodbye would be nice, but what kind of a stupid girl do i seriously want to let myself be?

we're going to the beach on sunday, and i'm thinking about getting tattooed again. I want something on my leg, but i'm not 100% sure what yet. I'm broke though, so maybe i shouldn't be so silly with my money. If i could get you to come with and get tatted with me i would honestly say fuck my wallet. you are cute beyond words, you've got me talking silly:)

wow, the cops are at my fucking place.
i would have never imagined.

i've got to write tomorrow. this blog has become so mindless.

baby brother got his heart broke, and it makes me so sadddd

i honestly hope to never see your face again.

please paint your room that color

picking up bowman

in the morning, which im extra excited about.

ate a fucking spectacular meal tonight, saw an awesome play, and spent the night in the city.
i forget what its like to go out haha, such a hermit crab i am.
slosherama is tomorrow night, which i am sadly unprepared for.
Going to some asian festival with my parents tomorrow taking care of both my dads bday and mothers day!
my arm still hurts terribly, but i managed a B in sociology thinking i'd fail completely.
lawd, it's been a nice evening.

i am a couch sleeper

feel terrible after spending over 4 hours in the chair.
morgan lasered me- everything went smoothly
thea did my tattoo right afterwards- awesome, with killer pain
it's much bigger than i thought it was going to be, but ah well lol
I think i'm getting too top heavy though, i need to get some leg work soon.

"lots of people have sleeves, but aint nobody got a sock."
pictures and such later.

somehow

i bring out the worst in men.
walked past construction workers who found it appropriate to yell at me, had someone stop their car to try to talk to me, and had someone play an r&b song about love while pointing and lipsinking at me... this all happened from harrison to belvidere while on foot via marshall.

give me a fucking break.
i just want to walk my dog!

she shot the bullet

getting tatted tomorrow
getting lasered tomorrow- OUCH!
studying as much as i can
dear lord i hope i pass

to be a loyal liar- one whos loyality lies in lying.

AND THE OAKLEY SHADES GO SO HARD WIT IT.

lolz

dude, you're eating a banana with coconut shit on it. i mean how am i not supposed to laugh at you eating a banana that looks like it has cum all over it? you seriously expect me to not laugh?

NO JUST DON'T WATCH ME!

Bowman

what a character. He is one person that i can say has impacted my life in such a way that i can't even describe. Living in Charlottesville has done him a lot of good, and i'm proud of how much he's grown. He claims to be coming for a visit during slosherama, which i'm totally stoked on. I'm pretty ready for his stories haha.

using machine, i think that's the only name left for you.
"And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new " e e cummings

last night i was going to see you and chill out for a while, but i got nervous. I probably ruined it because you tend to be a one chance sorta person, butttt I've been doing fine so what's it to me. Katey and I loled about the cuteness of what once was haha. I loved unannounced visits, and so did she- meant somebody cared. haha well anyways we shall see what happens.

i guess i just haven't had any words lately.

pabbi likes her personal margarita glass :)

mustache may

i am ever hopeful

LOLin

at, "EWWWW, you dont know where that's been at."
cory- mad love.